Audio Commentary v: Wellspring ⛲
The sound of your eternity embodied; in your interests, your contributions, and your existence
Plentiful. Embodied. Resourced from the deep within.
In Preparing for the Journey, I said that if I can get you to feel where I’ve been, then you might be able to feel where I intend to go. So, let’s put more words to sound.
I’ve created five playlists, Audio Journals I’m calling them, that correspond to the phases of internal discovery I’ve lived and intend to share in my posts and other media (as stated in Preparing). So, consider these Audio Journals a representation of the soul of the journey.
Here, and in the preceding posts of this same kind, I share a bit about what each song means for me, the lyrics that hit me hardest, and why I included the song in the journal entry. It’s my hope that you can hear these songs how I hear them and you glean something inspiring or humanizing that you can use.
The first of these Audio Journals I keynoted was i. Prologue to Destruction. In Prologue to Destruction, I describe my journey of triumph and loss and how it’s resulted in my ability to “love a little bit deeper.”
In ii. Reckoning, after my old life and perspective have been shattered, I find myself in a space where what begins to appear is a subtle sense of hope. In this stretch of my life, I found myself tapping into a personal power tied solely to who I am, not anything I had accomplished or possessed.
In iii. Realization, I found myself appreciating the magnificence of this human experience and recognizing the connectedness of all things.
In iv. Reconstruction we endeavored to build anew, from a plan that could only be accessed from within.
Finally, in v. Wellspring we arrive at the embodiment of the magnificent reckoning and hopeful plan created in previous stages to support the creation of a new, more sustainable world from our simple being.
Hit play and let’s go on another journey.
Rocket
I don’t know if I mentioned it in another audio journal, but I think I’ve been listening to Tori Kelly since her 2012 EP Handmade Songs? There are so many records of hers that leave me with a simple meaningful message, like this one.
Rocket paints the picture of a girl “stuck in her room” working and imagining great and wonderful possibilities in a world she doesn’t yet understand. When the EP this is from came out, I was a junior in college and preparing for my 8-month trip abroad to Spain (Cáceres to be specific).
Then the tune evoked a pensiveness about Spain, post-grad life, and the world. Now, because of its time capsule characteristic, the song provokes consideration about what might be possible and what all I might be able to create in this life.
Extraordinary Magic
I’ve been saying since last year, “You’re a much bigger deal than you think.” What I mean by that is most people have gifts and competencies that come so naturally to them that they elude identification, but represent what they are best equipped to offer.
In Extraordinary Magic, Ben lays this out. He says, “You won’t believe it…Extraordinary magic follows you around… When you turn around it disappears…" But he continues saying, “I see it” and I echo his sentiments. I can see that you have something distinct and special about you that you haven’t fully recognized. This “extraordinary magic” is why people have treated you so strangely, why others have gravitated to you, and why you have felt so different. My job is to help you see it and live from it.
My extraordinary magic is my sensitivity and my depth of feeling. Imagine if I had listened to them and stopped being “So sensitive.” If I had just stayed quiet or in the closet. None of THIS would exist and I’d be a much more calloused person. That thing that you’ve been told not to be out of fear from others, even those who care about you, may very well represent your extraordinary magic. And I can guarantee you won’t truly EFFECT your world until you acknowledge it and own it. I’ll gladly help.
Ungrateful Eyes
If you’re on your toes, you’ll recognize this is a repeat, a callback to Prologue to Destruction where I highlighted how we can be ungrateful and unappreciative in the presence of everything we have acquired that was once a dream.
Here in Wellspring, it represents the very real experience of feeling connected to your purpose, doing what feels aligned, and still feeling like your efforts aren’t good enough or they aren’t producing the response you’d hoped.
I’m learning that even on “the path” “destination-mind” can easily set in when the process, the being, is where the magic is. The extraordinary magic, that is.
I can proudly say that after Deconstructing and Coming Out, two landmark posts in the story of who I am, plus the literal dozens of other posts that preceded them, I have spent a lot of time in deep gratitude and thanks for getting here. I prayed for this clarity and service I feel. So before I petition another destination, I’ll express my sincerest gratitude for where I am. I’ll stop and watch the stars shine.
Evergreen
After dreaming of possibility with Rocket, recognizing our magic in Extraordinary, and expressing gratitude in Ungrateful, all we can do is “kiss our penny and throw it in.” I’m learning that some things are just simply out of my control. And honestly? That may be for the best. As I said in Musing: On Compliments, we often ask for things we’re nowhere near prepared for. Plus, it’s just human nature to not be able to “See the forest for the trees.”
Our primary responsibility is identifying our course and staying it. In hopes of becoming evergreen, or enduringly fresh and continually relevant in a time of short attention spans and quick turnover. Evergreens themselves often symbolize immortality and eternal life because they retain their leaves throughout the winter.
This is pertinent as this song is a dedication to Yebba’s late mother. Hence her asking “Will you wait for me?” Most of us by this stage of life have lost people close to us. I’d like us all to remember that these souls still assist us and walk alongside us. Gently guiding us when we can’t see the “forest for the trees.” So they may in fact be waiting on us.
Surrender
Surrender. That’s the task. I think in our busy, gotta-do ass lifestyles, surrender has gotten sooo complex. I think an easy “test” of surrender is not needing to think about “it” anymore. You do the work, you post your stuff, you pray and then you don’t feel obligated to keep thinking and watching for it. Making its eventual arrival sweeter and more satisfying.
I wish that were it… However, Adekunle CLOCKS me when he says “By the way, I’ve been running away from love.”
I am most cautious in the realm of romantic relationships. As I detailed in Coming Out, it’s the place I’m least experienced. I have some mastery in most areas of my life, but these relationships?? Tuh!
I don’t think it’s a bad thing, though. And after years of ducking even the idea of dating and relating, I think I’m just about ready to be locked in. (🎙️ I plan to skip to skip to “This my fish.” That other stuff is for the birds) In all honesty, I really love relationships and the idea of two people coming from two different worlds and co-creating experiences and life(!) in many cases.
I think our generation was especially steeped in rugged individualism, red Power Ranger syndrome, and independence, but I truly believe healthy relationships are a key to personal well-roundedness and success unless you’re aromantic, which we support. I also think our relating well, romantically and platonically, but at any rate more intimately will be pivotal for creating the future we all desire.
I think of relationships like the “Amazing Race of Life.”
Together we are aiming at and working towards a shared goal (hopefully less hurriedly). We may periodically not see eye to eye on the way forward and every now and then one of us might have to take on more of the load, but the aim is to together cross the finish line without harming, belittling, or abandoning your partner or co-navigator. (🎙️ Cause whew those episodes are hard to watch). To finish, in love and better for it.
Where Adekunle and I differ is on the dying part. I want to do this forever as I want to attend all the funerals and births of who you were, are, and becoming, but dying is where I draw a line. I’ll take you as far as you need to go, though!
I also believe we can’t do the important work of our lifetimes alone and that there is no magic like intimate relating, but (🎙️ chile) let me get out of my feelings! For a MINUTE.
But really Surrender, the song and action, just feels really good. And you know by now how we feel about Afrobeats.
Redemption Song
Speaking of important work. Bob Marley created, in his arguably short life, a movement of peace and love that echoes just as loudly today as it did when he sang the words himself. Powerfully demonstrating that our greatest impact can come in the most unlikely ways. We need only follow that which inspires us.
In Redemption Song, Bob sings “We forward in this generation, triumphantly.” Most battles are won or lost before they’ve even begun. So we must decide that in the battle for our freedoms, our future, and our children that we have already won trusting that the almighty will make our hands strong.
He encourages us to not fear “atomic energy.” I’d add AI, climate change, or war. Although very real threats, the way they are employed is to slow the inevitable progression of what it means to be human. Our evolution. But “None of them can stop the time.”
I’ll add this: If you are living out of alignment with who you are, you are TRULY making things up as you go. I commend and understand you, but wow what hard. You came here for a distinct experience and your living it is you fulfilling the book. YOUR book.
So won’t you help me sing this song of freedom? We may need it if we want to navigate the complexity ahead and come out redeemed and restored.
Restored
You can take me out of the church, but you most certainly won’t be taking it out of me.
After going through the darkest storm of my life and the most rigorous test of leaving behind everything that wasn’t me, I truly feel restored. After some of the most challenging days and sleepless nights, like J sings here, I feel “healed, rebuilt, and restored.”
In Restored, J Moss says “Thank you for my storm.” Last year I would have never imagined saying that since I felt like I lost so much. But now I can see what it built in me and what I’ve built as a result. I have been able to face what looked like ruins with a sense of hope and regeneration and one by one stack new bricks.
I can sing with gladness that I’m RESTORED.
Also, get into the harmonies and background vocals! J Moss is among the best in the business. HE SINGS!
I hope after this journey we’ve been on you feel restored, more clear, and more directed. And if not, the day you plant is not the day you harvest, we’ll just keep cultivating.
Bring Me Down
Now I’m determined to not let anything, or just any old thing, Bring Me Down. This journey has developed such resilience in me and equipped me with incredible tools so now “I’m ready for whatever comes my way.”
Musiq sings “It doesn’t matter what it is at all, there ain’t no worries with the lion living in your heart.” As a result of practicing heart coherence so regularly I just don’t experience frustration and powerlessness like I used to. I feel a lot more certain that come what may I will have or be able to access the tools I need to navigate when I need them. So I’m ready. Ready even for the opportunities that will come, too! This time I won’t shrink or hide from my good.
So I ask you to “keep the faith. There’s no room for fear” where you’re going.
Esopi Yo
This one takes me BACK! When I was a company man and starting to notice myself pulling away from consulting, Esopi Yo made its way into my life. On the drives from the airport to the client site, I wasn’t in Pennsylvania, I was in Nigeria and Congo! The infectious rhythm and the repetitive chorus kept me from melting down in them people establishment à la Meryl Streep at that table in Big Little Lies.
I never actually knew what the words meant because the song was doing its job, but this fun little song has some meaning. Esopi Yo translates to “You have been shamed!” And throughout the song Awilo and Tiwa shame all manner of people such as crooks, fraudsters, and money grabbers. Essentially everyone who would take advantage of and harm others while displaying wealth, faux happiness, and pride.
So the post Deconstructing the Cult of Christianity was me saying Esopi Yo to wolves, predators, and all manner of religious scammer. Imagine that. As we go about our path and radiate alignment, people are GOING to try it. They are going to try to deter us and we’ll boldly exclaim Esopi Yo!
Stone Mountain
Another callback to Prologue to Destruction. In Prologue the focus was on the climb and keeping focused to make it through. Here in Wellspring with this remixed version, it feels more like a celebration. It’s a sweet and savory realization of the climb ahead and the path already hiked, but overall a glad celebration. My head remains in the clouds while I’m climbing, but now I deeply appreciate the path I took and the journey I’m on.
I no longer let distractions like doubt or crooks impede my forward movement. I move with a sense of purpose and clarity while I “fight for what I know is right.” I gladly sing “the climb don’t stop” knowing I’m ascending to somewhere sweet.
Higher Power
Higher Power. This song feels like the strongest stimulant. I’ve tried to sneak this in previous audio journals, but it just never fit. I see now it wasn’t the time, but here we are!
Wellspring is about the deep embodiment of who you are and the near effortless flow of service resulting from that embodiment. In this state, all you can point to is a higher power. Nothing else explains your output, your insight, or your impact. And to remind us, that higher power doesn’t care what we call it. It’s the thing that causes blades of grass to grow and the wind that lifts birds, planes, and balloons.
Higher Power is a true realization, or in the song, a recognition of how supported you and I are. We are equipped with the seeds (and experiences) of every competency we need to fulfill the loftiest of our dreams.
The reason I speak in such lofty terms is because I see you. Not in the empty social justice ally way, but in the “my gift is recognizing people” way. So, I see that you’ve got a higher power, not only supporting you but working through you. A thing that is loudly distinct from all the people you grew up with, attended school with, live with, and work alongside.
There is something specific about you that only you can cultivate and share. And that thing makes me want to dance. How are things hopeless when you exist? When you haven’t even begun to do your big one yet?
Chris Martin sings, “Til you tell me on your heavenly phone to hold tight and come on.” We’ve got so many souls supporting us and rooting for us to win. Think about it like Earth as a high school. We have a grandmother, a great-grandfather, a cousin whose impact remains in trophy cases who are hoping we are as successful or more than they were. So we can go boldly.
As the band sings, “You’re once in any lifetime and I’m truly happy to be alive at the same time as you.” Let’s get actiiiiive.
By this time in the journal, we are DANCING. So I am annotating these songs, but the intention is for you to be up and moving, committing the energy and wisdom of this journey traveled to your legs, arms, hips and yansh! Some things I won’t be able to convey with my words, you’ve got to feel them. So dance!
Bamiloke
Bamiloke means “Meet me at the top” and I invite you to meet me at the top, but don’t forget to bring your celebration.
Usually when we refer to “the top” it’s a singular position won after besting or stepping on the competition. But as I understand it, there is plenty of space at the top of a mountain. And it’s rarely wise to hike that journey alone.
So when I invite you to meet me there, cause I’m going… I invite you to go to a place most people dream of going to but for one reason or another don’t go.
Crayon sings “What does it profit a man who God blesses with money to be stingy for his life?” The point of meeting with success isn’t to forget the journey and keep all your resources to yourself. It’s to be a wellspring others can be nourished and replenished by so that the success flows throughout communities of people. Your gifts flow through a community of people and back to you in uncanny ways. It’s about staying true to your values no matter how much you have and who’s in your contacts list.
Crayon sings “Fine fine girls on this side.” Like it’s a party up here! Bring me your fine friends to come holla at me! Bamiloke!
U-Turn
U-Turn is probably the perfect representation of me. Using simple imagery to convey complex and deep meaning over a fast-paced, high-energy song?
“Yep, that’s me!”
In U-Turn, Lawrence Flowers and Intercession use traffic signs and patterns to describe the act of God turning things around and “turning me into someone who could be used.”
They use every manner of traffic sign to describe a well-lived life, honestly. U-Turn speaks of the times when we aren’t our best, when we have the go-ahead to move forward, and those times when we are yielded to something greater.
I ask you this question: If the life we’re living doesn’t feel aligned or fully satisfying and is turned upside down, might that make it right side up?
Come on somebody!
What is most important is how this song feels. U-Turn is an electric, high-octane celebration of victory over despair and defeat, and my God won’t it make you move. And Lawrence is a VOCALIST and MIND, hunny.
But really, this song sends me into a deep celebratory praise for victory over battles NO ONE saw. He turned it around. He turned it ALL around.
Come on clap your hands for the U Turn people of God!
At this point after our winding, tumultuous journey we can celebrate and BECOME celebration. For if we triumphed over certain defeat before we MUST be able to do it again. And in partnership with others, how could we possibly lose?
Before I Let Go
Now it’s time to dance among friends and kin. Before I Let Go just feels like the cookout around dusk, when we’ve long since eaten, gotten familiar and now we’re all on the same groovy kickback frequency. The purpose of all this, at least for me, is to celebrate, dance, and vibe with my people. It’s connecting to new folks, flirting with new people, learning new line dances, and making memories that signify a life well-lived.
Millennials are too dope a group and people to be so encumbered by the ways of this outdated world. My mission is to get everyone dancing at this party of life. And though I understand the weights and lies we have to release to get there, I never lose sight of my goal. So if you think there aren’t future kickbacks and get-togethers in mind, you are only tricking yourself out your spot.
“To the left!”
I truly “thank God the Sun rises and shines on you.” For you? “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do.”
Build-A-Bae
And as I mentioned… A sub-goal of the kickback is meeting and flirting a lil. Heavy Just a tad. So the hope is to meet and leave with somebody, but not just anybody. Nah you gotta build yo bae! Especially if you want to keep your Muni Long.
In Build-A-Bae, Muni names the requirements she has to kick it with her. These include: at least a hunnid thousand, a couple houses, a mansion in the mountains, and a crib with a foyer and a fountain (wow. She really loves real estate…). These she considers the bare necessities or the Build-A-Bae essentials.
Now my list might not be as extravagant as hers (cause she names at least 3 houses in her list), but there are some requirements. None of which I’ll name cause we not on a private line!
But in the last few lines of the song she gets to the heart of it saying “Let’s build it.” Now I can’t speak for most people, but my requirements, or standards, are not only because of how I now see myself but also the nature of what I want to build. I don’t have time to go with the flow of a sitting body of water. God U-Turned me out of that trap. The connection gotta mutually benefit. Too much life to have and I want a little mo’!
So if you listen closely you can hear me singing: “So essential, boy I need you like some PPE!”
Feeling
But any connection I’m a part of isn’t just about building, trips, or houses. Nah I want to feel some new feelings, like Letoya creatively paints.
“It’s getting kinda crazy. He already calling me his baby.” Now, we won’t be rushing, but let’s not drag our feet on something we can feel. We already had the business meeting and hashed out the details, now let’s move out into them waters a lil bit… (🎙️ If yall could see me in this room groovin)
“Like a warm sunny day, yea that’s what we are. Light it up, fireworks at the park. Like stars really ain’t that far.” Give me that feeling!
“Be my ace! Be my go-to! Let’s build it like we ‘spose to???” Say that LeToya!
It don’t matter how high we get, “We stiiilll just taking off!” Because…
Next To You
I’m tryna get out of my skin. Next To You perfectly encapsulates the goal. Getting together, getting connected, and getting out of this SKIN. “Let’s experience magic, let’s get higher than heaven.”
We all have our own paths, but I’m aware on multiple levels that there are aspects of myself I won’t access until I am in an intimate partnership. The lack of one doesn’t mean any less of a full life to be clear, but the world itself is formed and held together by chemical compounds and reactions. And am I not the world in expressive form?
Together “We can be anything. We can be everywhere. Right here next to you. Flying places I never knew.”
Not my romantic came out that closet with me, yiiiiikes!
Moonlight
“Flying places I never knew” and “Dancing in the moonlight” to the soft sound of Samoht. I just want to dance and vibe and party “outside of time.” I want “everybody to feel right” and party all night long. Does anything else have such enduring value?
“It’s loud, but with you, it’s my quiet place???” Come onnnn. And if you think I wont start an electric slide, you are only playing yourself so learn your steps. (🎙️ Leave Tamia’s shuffle at home, though. We won’t be doing all that.) I don’t know if I’m ready for post-hibernation Mel!
Instrument
Finally, Instrument. What I hope to convey and impress upon you is that you are distinct, singular, once in any lifetime. You are a carefully crafted Instrument. And as you learn and discover how best to play, you will begin seeing you’re creating a song within the larger symphony of humanity that is yours, but also ours.
Society will bombard you with fear, responsibilities, and high stakes, but you were appropriately designed to want the things you want and dream of what you do in this very same life. You KNEW it’d be hard, but you also knew that the way of the world is the upstream path, whereas being yourself is the downstream journey that always ends you up in places you never thought possible.
You are by NO MEANS accidental or unconsidered.
Instrument feels like the altar call of this journal and this journey. With everything I’ve said thus far and have yet to say in this stage:
Will you at least consider and believe that there is a path that only you can decipher and live out?
Will you determine that you will, by whatever means necessary discover what you came here to create?
Will you sing and play your song even when it seems no one is listening or cares?
The cacophonous sounds of destruction, disconnection, and despair we’ve been forced to play a part in creating are ones engineered by the worst of men.
But if you listen, if you connect with your heart there is another one, a more subtle song ready to be played. A song that will heal, inspire, and make apparent possibilities that seemed unthinkable.
Will you be an instrument, a wellspring of what is prepared to come forth?
Thanks for reading and listening. Wellspring is my sincerest contribution to our grand becoming. I pray multiple times each and every day to be but assisting hands to the work unfolding in us in this urgent time.
In a time where devastating genocides are happening simultaneously around the world so the american empire can waste, subjugate people, and ritualistically preserve its ill-gotten power and influence, how we act and handle this pivotal time will echo through history as it is already through the cosmos.
It’s more important than ever for you to be the person you came here to be. That’s where your power lies. But no pressure. If everything the empire forces you to do makes you feel ill and causes you to suffer, unabashed joy becomes redemptive, restorative resistance.
Wellspring.
Melvyn ⛲️
I hope this journey finds you living. From the Wellspring of who and all you are.
